Little Red Riding BOB
by Surging Calm
Summary: Sanzo's first mistake was simply not just reading the dam story to Li. His second mistake telling her to read it to everyone else. This is what hapens when They Let Li tell what should be a simple childrens story.....


Disclaimer: **Don't Own it DUDE!!!! Never did never will XD...I Only Own Sayura... she's my braindead blind emotion harboring lil' biatch. So... You can't sue me Nyah nyah nyah nyah!!!!!!!! Grins Hehehehe And now On with this Fluffernuter piece of Poopie!! **

They were all gathered in the hotel room. Or he should say... his room...And they were annoying the hell out of him.

"Get out and go amuse yourselves else where dammit!" He growled at them. Then much to his dismay he felt a heavy weight drop onto his lap. Looking down he glared at Li. "Get off!" She merely shoot her head and held up a book. " Read it yourself... or better yet go read it to the Others... I'm sure they'd like a story..." She grinned and jumped up to go get the others to gather in a cirlce via story time. Goku who was confused just sat down. Hakkai out of politeness did the same and Gojyo well he was there because Hakkai dragged him. There it was again.. that weight on his lap. Sanzo Growled again. Diddn't I tell you to go read it to the others..." She Nodded and setteled on making her self more comfy on his lap as she guestured to the circle. Renwei and Aura blinked as they joined in the circl and then heard what the gathering was for.

Renwei and Aura looked up and stared at Sanzo before sniggering. " You've just set up the Pins for her to knock'em down."

"What do you mean?" Hakkai asked as Goku and the Other's blinked. " He's letting her read which means she's gonna mangle that story to hell and back..." Gojyo blinked. " Butcher as in tottaly screw up?" Renwei and Aura both nodded. " Oh My Well we do have to listen now it'd be rude not to..." " AHEM!" Li glared at all of them before snapping the book open and looking down at the page with dead seriousness. "So...Not that I care or anything what story did you pick Li..." She grinned up at all of them before replying. " Little red riding Bob..." " Bob?" They all looked confused, except for Renwei and Aura. Who gave them all furtive. ' I told you so looks.'

Li just glared before clearign her throat again.

Once upon a time there was a cute little girl named little red riding BOB! Now Normally everyone called her little red riding hood... because well it was just so akward calling a girl Bob...Anywhore... Bob's crossdressing granpa Larry fell really ill... and one day Bob's Mother said to her...

" Little red riding Bob Take this Basket of Theraflu and whiskey to your grampa...to help him get better.." and so bob set out to his Granpa's basket in hand...

Hakkai: Oh, wow...I certainly hope that stuff helps granma I-I mean grandpa...

Gojyo: Me Two...eeesh...

Goku: I don't get it Why would he need whiskey? Thera flu I understand... but why whiskey?

Aura and Renwei: Because whiskey is the Drink of LIFE!!!!

Sanzo: Just Shut the hell up the sooner she's done the sooner I can kick you all out of my rooma nd go to sleep...Cocks his gun.

Aura and Renwei: Sigh...

Li: Glares again and then keeps going,

Now Bob's crossdressing grampa lived in the big city with lots of cars and planes and helocopters... So it was very very easy to get lost... Bob found this out the hard way... So shedecided to go to the city directory and see where he was and how far he had to go...

While looking at said directory Bob, unbeknownst to her, was being watched by..Pauses for dramatic affect... THE BIG BAD WOLF!!!!!!!

Now The wolf was hungry... Though in all honesty he really shoudn't have been because he'd already devoured three little pigs and six little lambs... Okay so the bastard was gluttonous and wanted to eat something else...

Gojyo: Wait isn't that like two different stories all together,,,,

Hakkai: Yes I believe you're right Gojyo...

Sanzo: Wait? Which story is this again?

Goku: Little Red Riding Bob...

Li : Grrrrrrrrrrr

Aura and Renwei :...

Li: Continues

And so the Sly wolf Saddled up right beside Little red Ridding bob and sneakilly placed an Arm around her. "Hello there pretty young thing..." The Wolf Smirked. " And just where might you be goin' all alone in this town..." Little red riding Bob how-ever had heard about sneaky perverted Wolves who try to kidnapp little Bob's who get lost in the city, Then do horrible horrible unspeakable things to them. Like Turn them into whores on the hoe stroll... Or put them in night clubs as scantilly clad strippers...

Gojyo: I'm likin' this storry the more and more I hear...

Hakkai: Oh my...How interesting...

Goku: Do What??? Sanzo What's a Hoe Stroll???

Sanzo: Hand smacks forhead ...

Aura and Renwei: Snigger...

Li:

Bob luckilly enough, though the wolf diddn't know this, was a master of the Jedi Sword maneuvers and mind tricks because shehad been practicing for years with Yoda and Darth Vader... Using her Jedi mind powers little red riding bob blasted away the wolf and skipped merrilly to her granpa Larry's... But unfortunately her blast had sent the wlf there two and so when he arrived it was not his granpa hs saw but the wolf in his night gown slippers and shower cap. The Wolf had unfortunately eaten Poor Cross dressing granpa Larry... and He was still hungry...

Goku: How is that Possible!!!!!!!?

Gojyo: CH says the bottomless pit of a chimp...

Renwei and Aura: Dude Gojyo you eat just as Much!

Sanzo: SILENCE OR DEATH WILL FOLLOW!

Hakkai: Now now lets just listen to the story ok...

Li :

Bob Was, how-ever, an extremely gullible idiot. so he looked at the Wolf and compeltely thought it was her granpa.

"OOOOH GRANPA LARRY I BRING YOU THERE FLU AND WHISKEY!" Bob said in her most Precious and sweet voice. No sooner had Bob made it to the bedside thent he wolf attacked and gobbled up poor Bob. Poor Bob Only got out one loud Terrified scream before she was sent to the Wolfs belly.

Sanzo: Dear God this is retarded...

Goku: Is it over yet?

Gojyo: Wasn't There a Woodsman in the Original?

Hakkai : Yes I Believe so... Though With the way this is going I can Hardly say there'd be any Heroics...

Aura and Renwei: Don't Count on it...

Li:

The scream had alerted the ears of a city policemen who came thundering up the stairs with a " CLOMPA CLOMPA CLOMPA CLOMPA!!!!" Bursting open the door of the appartment and startling the sleeping wolf. "Every thing Allright in here Ma'am? said the officer. Another poor Gullible bastard... " Oh yes yes..." Said the Wolf in his most feindish Ganny voice. " I was just startled by the contents of this basket my lovely grandaughter Bob brought me before headding home..." The cop scratched the back of his head. " Well what's in the basket ?" He asked... " TheraFlu and Whiskey..." Replied the Wolf. " But you may take the Whiskey for all I really need is the TheraFlu!" Upon hearing this the Cop pulled out his Gun and Shot the Wolf dead...

Gojyo: Dude I thought he was fooled by the cross dressin' granny get up?

Goku: Holy Shit... What happened then!!!

Hakkai: Yes Why did he shoot the Wolf...

Sanzo: Something tells me that question's gonna regret being asked Hakkai..

Aura and Renwei: Most likely...

Li: The Cop then knew the whole thing was a Farce for no sick and elderly person would ever turn away whiskey. upon further inspection and background checking it was found that he was really the wolf and that he was wanted on several assault charges, 5 misdemenors, 4 rapes, 3 drug charges, and 2 previous murders. The cop was given a Promotion, a Shiney medal and all the cookies he could eat... Needless to say he lived happilly ever after...

THE END!

And with that Li snapped the book shut and grinned looking at everyone else. They how-ever could only blink at the story's contents.

Hakkai: Well that certanly was interesting...

Gojyo: Tell me about it...

Getting up The Two headed off to their rooms for the night.

Goku : That was just freaky... He Yawned as he got up and went to his own room.

Renwei and Aura had gotten up lughing at the entire thing as the retired to their shared room but not before Telling Li to Hurry up.

Sanzo: You heard them get moving I ready for bed...

Li how-ever was already curled up at the foot of his bed fast asleep. The book was sitting next to her. He sighed as he just got under the covers and went to sleep. He could've moved her but gun or not she'd've bitten him, and he was not in the mood to be bitten...


End file.
